Dec 31, 2003

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. -- Dan Quayle

Dec 29, 2003

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. -- Ronald Reagan

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. -- Franklin P. Jones

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. -- P. J. O'Rourke

All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often. -- Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. -- Robertson Davies
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen. -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? -- Scott Adams

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. -- Barry LePatner

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. -- Samuel Johnson

Dec 23, 2003

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. -- Isaac Asimov

Dec 22, 2003

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. -- Voltaire

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. -- Mark Twain

I am not young enough to know everything. -- Oscar Wilde

I find nothing more depressing than optimism. -- Paul Fussell

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. -- Robert Frost

Dec 18, 2003

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 -- Harper's Index, October 1989

Dec 17, 2003

Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. -- Claud Cockburn

Dec 15, 2003

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. -- Elbert Hubbard
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. -- Harlan Ellison

Dec 12, 2003

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. -- Franklin P. Jones

Dec 9, 2003

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. -- Larry Hardiman

Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors. -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. -- C. P. Snow
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. -- Saki

.The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. -- King Edward VIII

Dec 5, 2003

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. -- Ogden Nash

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire

Dec 3, 2003

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. -- Noel Coward

Dec 2, 2003

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. -- Nathaniel Borenstein

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. -- Bradley's Bromide

Nov 26, 2003

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. -- John Tudor

Nov 25, 2003

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. -- Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman (attributed)

Nov 24, 2003

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits. -- Dan Barker, "Losing Faith in Faith", 1992

Nov 20, 2003

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. -- Bernard Berenson

Nov 17, 2003

After joining the Gay Straight Alliance at her Oakley, Calif., school, high school freshman Lisa McClelland, 15, noted the school had a Black Student Union, a chapter of Latinos Unidos, and an ALOHA Club for Asian Americans. Why not a Caucasian Club, wondered the girl, who is of Scottish, German, American Indian, Latino and Irish descent, so she got more than 300 student signatures on a petition to start one. But "Some people would say words like 'racist' when they see me," she said later, and the NAACP called the club's name "culturally insensitive". She says the proposed club would be open to anyone who wanted to talk about race, or express pride in their European heritage. But she says she was harassed so much for her idea that she transferred to another school. The school she left? Freedom High School. (San Francisco Chronicle)... "We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back." -- Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968), American minister and civil rights leader.
When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice. -- Otto von Bismarck
There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise. -- Gore Vidal

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent. -- Franklin P. Adams

Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. -- George Jackson

Nov 6, 2003

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -- Bill Cosby

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right. -- Albert Guinon

Nov 3, 2003

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. -- William S. Burroughs

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. -- Scott Adams

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. -- Elbert Hubbard

Oct 27, 2003

"Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary" -- AFP headline
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. -- Granville Hicks

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. -- Charles M. Schulz

Oct 22, 2003

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.-- Robert Byrne

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.-- Garrison Keillor

Oct 21, 2003

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov

Oct 20, 2003

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
-- Ernest Benn

Oct 15, 2003

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges!
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Oct 14, 2003

"Those whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad."
--Unknown
BILL GATES' SPEECH TO MT. WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, California.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school, or college for that matter. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.